3-23-08 Hoppy Easter!! I opened my Easter card from Joe and got ready to go see Emma. She really lit up when we walked in! She smiled and started bouncing from excitement. It’s so amazing the transformation from that first week when she just had that blank expression. I dressed her in this pink and white, spring-like outfit, with sewn on butterflies and flowers. We then had a “photo session” posing her with the many bunny and chick stuffed animals with the Easter basket I brought her. It was a tiny one I brought from home that fit in a little bunny and a chicken that when you pull the string, it vibrates. She found this interesting and got the hang of putting her finger thru the loop of the string while I pulled it. After feeding Emma her daily “cereal” and cup of “milk”, she opened her card, from Joe, and actually pulled it out of the envelope herself this time. Then it was time……….. we gave her a pink bunny Peep to eat. Well, she was soooooooooo funny! She first just squished them in her hands like what the hell is this??? Then when I put it in her mouth, she made this face like I put sand in her mouth (I think the texture was what was getting to her) she seemed to like the sweet and bit off a big piece. Now, picture us doing this trying to sneak it so no one yelled at us for giving it to her. It was like a secret mission. Her mouth was all pink and so were her hands!! They were all sticky and she didn’t know why! Then she started rubbing them on the blanket so not only was the pink getting on the blanket but now all the fuzzes were sticking to her hands. Oh we were laughing! Trying to clean her up with wet ones wasn’t easy either b/c the sugar crystals didn’t melt and they were all stuck b/t each finger like grains of sand. It was hysterical! Emma seemed very fun and interactive today. I played peek-a-boo with her from behind the door leading into the hallway as well as peeking thru the other side of a stained glass door. She got a kick out of it. Then Emma was in the walker, and Mom was “whipping” her from one side around to the other side of her, almost like being on a ride at an amusement park. She smiled during this, and when mom stopped, she arched her back like she wanted to do it again. She “chased” and followed me around the room in her walker. We then started a game where I’d roll her a few feet away, then said “come on, come here” she’d run toward me with a huge smile on her face. Once she reached me, she’d reach out both of her hands, I’d grab them and say YEA!!! After a few times of doing this, she then started clapping after the YEA! We all had a fun time. Mom and I decided to go out for dinner, and thought we’d venture over to the hotel where some of the other families had stayed (they had a bar, restaurant, bowling alley, etc). So we ask for the restaurant… we’re pointed to a door where, when we opened it, it was a huge room with levels of tables and a stage. We can only assume it was some type of entertainment area/dinner theater. And it was empty. We walked down the hall and saw a bar. It was closed. Then we saw some other tables where we made eye contact with a man behind the bar and he seated us with menus (in English). What a riot THIS experience was. We were asked if we wanted bread TWICE...never got it. Asked us for drink? juice? tea? we're trying to ask for wine. He had no idea till mom said vino? OH vine..... Brings us a wine menu with only 4 kinds that were sold by the glasss so we said no....how about a mixed drink......looked at us like we had 6 heads. Then........... we said vodka.... Oh THAT he knew. So I thought I’d go out on a limb here… cranberry juice? No. So I had it with cherry juice. (later find out that they charge you for juice and a charge for the alcohol) Mom had rum and orange juice. We asked the waitress to explain some of the dishes on the menu. She just kept saying NO. No what??? No you wont explain? No you don’t know what it is? She got so frustrated she sent over a waiter. Turns out, No, means “we don’t have that available today.” After we placed our order, we were asked if we wanted bread. We said yes. Eventually we got our tiny drinks in a glass with a bendy straw and 2 tiny ice cubes. He then looked at us, he took out a pad and pencil (like he was gonna take our order) and walked away. We waited 45 min and nothing. No bread. Nothing. We asked where everything was~ mom showed her watch and rubbed her stomach....waiter put hands in air and said sorry. Then made a phone call to the kitchen maybe and came back and asked me what I wanted on the side (which I told him with my order 45 min ago!) I knew he hadn’t even put the order in yet! Another 20 min go by and we finally get our dinner. No bread, but dinner nonetheless. We both ordered beef medalions with vegetables. Which showed up with no vegetables. We asked where they were, had to show them on the menu that it was supposed to COME WITH IT, and they eventually brought out one small plate (for us to SHARE-eventhough we were both supposed to get veggies) of 2 small slices of egg plant, 2 ¼ pieces of a tomato and 4 slices of pepper all grilled. My side dish was BOILED potatoes "in their own jackets' which I assumed meant w/the skin on..... nevertheless.....no jackets and NOT boiled but fried. Do we dare order dessert? Then dessert menu.... the pasty I wanted was another NO. (more of them not having any) and mom ordered a dessert that CAME WITH fruit, ice cream and chocolate. So she asked waitress if it was chocolates on the side or chocolate sauce on top. She said sauce on top. It comes 15 min later. Its 4 scoops of chocolate ice cream with some chocolate powder on top. Mom said "chocolate sauce" and waitress said no. Uh, YES…that’s what you JUST told us. Then we asked, where’s the "fruit"?????? She looked at us and said “oh you want fruit?” and had to go back and ask someone....She comes back with “No, just fruit OR ice cream”. Thats NOT what the description of the dessert was. Do they not even know what’s on their menu? Or does it just offer things then they make what they want and hope you don’t notice? Unbelievable. We gave it back and left. Asked front desk to call a taxi and went home. The drive home was nice, since we’ve never been out after dark. A lot of the streets have colored lights strung across them, like you’d see for a special occasion or holiday by us. Also, many colored lights lit up the buildings or had rows of blinking lights going down them, again, like Christmas decorations. And of course, its snowing again.

3-22-08 Today we didn’t go to the orphanage because it was a holiday here (the coming of Spring). So we’re switching for tomorrow, Sunday, Easter…so it works out for us getting to see Emma on Easter (didn’t think we would). There’s apparently a street fair of some sort downtown, so all the roads will be closed and if we wanted to go anywhere we’d have to walk. All well and good, except my back and moms sciatica are killing us so I didn’t want to walk ANYWHERE. We spent most of the afternoon catching up on old blog entries from the beginning of this trip (ones I couldn’t bare to have to re-live by writing them myself). Mom wrote and I did laundry, made some macaroni salad, hard boiled eggs, did dishes, etc. I’m always writing and mom doing the other stuff so it was a day for switching. Then we played some Sequence, ate dinner, watched another Danielle Steel dvd and went to bed.

3-21-08 Well today was sooooooo great. The orphanage was putting on a play for the holiday of the coming of Spring. We didn’t understand a word of it but nonetheless we went early, got Emma, she sat there the whole time. Even clapped when everyone else did. Workers, administrators, etc "performed" and dr.s and director and some older children were the audience. There was a little boy and girl in it and the boy made pretend he was playing a mandolin and the girl was "supposed to be" dancing but after one shimmy, she froze..... was like a kid on stage at a dance recital. We all clapped. They re-enacted what I guess is the tradition behind this "holiday" the coming of spring....Where a baby is born and the crib is blessed with smoke/incense. Then they bring out an older (maybe 4 year old) girl and put rope around her feet. (apparently in old times their feet were bound for a period of time) then she walks down this "aisle" and at the end the director cut the rope. Symbolizing her being let free into the world Then a boy played a sax and an older girl played the violin and sang beautifully Afterward, we were invited to join in the feast..... which was a spread of all food and "milk". It was REALLY nice that they invited us up. We tried some of the bread~good. There was a little cake there, so we gave Emma some and she couldn’t get enough of it! She doesn’t get anything sweet there so she was like mmmmmm. Then they say "try this" mom takes a bite and says "oh roast beef". Lady nods happily and says "horse" LOL! I did try it after that and it was a BIT different, almost tasted like deer meat. .Not really bad. Then this stuff mom thought was chopped liver was actually a chocolate "cookie" and tasted like diet sawdust! Yum Oh, and the meat was all cold. THEN there's this "milk". They DID tell us it was horse milk....so we were willing to try it. BUT............Mom took a sip and made probably THE worst face I've seen in my entire life! Her mouth couldn’t open up any further nor wrinkle her face any more if she tried! She looked like she was scanning the room to spit it out, but I was looking at her like “don’t you dare”. Now....EVERYONE is watching her try it! I said, "STOP WITH THAT FACE YOU'RE GONNA INSULT THEM!" (mom said I said it SO sternly to her Then she said, "ok YOU try it" I took the littlest sip b/c I knew it was gonna be bad..... It was like an ounce of warm milk (I think) and 10 ounces of vinegar. It almost turned your tongue numb! Apparently the horse meat is a delicacy for special occasions and the "milk" is very good for your stomach and heart. And for a hangover! LOL It was definitely an experience and I’m so glad we were there for it. During the break b/t visits we went to the Green Market/bazarre (outdoor flea market). It was pretty nice out, not cold or windy but everything was SOOOOOOO muddy and disgusting everywhere. We had gotten permission from the director to let me take home this one sweater and the jumper she always wears... if I buy another outfit to exchange for it. I wanted it b/c its 2 of the clothing items they put on her ALOT. That’s cool to have! So, we stayed for a bit, got some things for Emma, got an outfit to exchange for her jumper and left b/c our backs were killing us! At the beginning of our afternoon visit, Olga walked in with a box and I said "oh you brought me a present?" (I was kidding) and she said "yea" (I thought SHE was kidding) Then about 15 min later, she was leaving and I was like "don’t forget your box" and she said "no it’s for you". We jumped up and were like WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Susan sent a huge goodie box. Chocolate chip cookies, pretzels, cheetos, twizzlers, skittles, girl scout cookies, doritos, Swedish fish, pink bunny Peeps, M & M’s, a pink Easter bunny and 4 toys for Emma! We started crying before we opened it. Just from seeing her handwriting! We were cracking up saying "How the hell did Susan find the address? WE don’t even know where we live!!!" hahahaha!!!! Mom video taped me opening it and giving stuff to Emma. I brought the new snow suit I bought Emma, dressed her up and took her outside for the FIRST TIME! The Dr. said it was fine (she had to approve it first). She had NEVER been outside! She was looking at the sky like, where am I? Saw a dog and don’t think she knew what it was. It was a nice day, no wind, not too cold. We picked up some snow and let her touch it and at first she didnt really like it. Then she kept touching it. She was also listening to water run down into sewer drain and couldnt stop staring at the stream of water running down road. Looking up at the trees, etc….it was cool to see her so like... what IS THIS? She was looking up at the sky like "where's the ceiling"! haha The snow suit was a little big but may hopefully fit for next year. It’s so hard to judge sizes here….their way of labeling sizes is bizarre. One minute its in 1, 2, 3, then it goes by cm 63 cm, 68cm, then 3-6 mo, 6-9 mo, and sometimes the 6 mo are smaller than the 3 mo and hence we've done a lot of returns and exchanges! I don’t think a lot of the stuff at home will fit, yet, I have a shirt from Carters 6 months and it fits fine. But other 9 month stuff doesn’t. 9 month fits on bottom but 12 month on top. I have NO idea what'll fit at home. At least I have some things that fit here that I’ll bring home and then can kinda judge against what’s there. And its so "fun" to ask for your money back, in the store, b/c they just want you to EXCHANGE not return yet dont have any other sizes. Then they go in their own personal wallet to give you money back. We’ve done our share of exchanging and returning. We’ve gotten Olga to add that to our list of phrases we bring with us to just SHOW people “Can I get my money back for this”. We WERE going to have chicken cutlets tonight for dinner but we've been home 1/2 an hour and have had a corona, 1/2 the bag of cheetos, 2 peeps and 3 twizzlers! Mom said "We can make the chicken tomorrow" it was the best dinner we've had yet!! Mom said it was like a hug for her tongue. lol Samoas and thin mints for breakfast tomorrow! Lol It was soooooooo awesome!!! We had the BEST day today and that was the icing on the cake. Got online to thank Susan (of course not BEFORE we pigged out the second we walked in the door) and this was her story about sending this package for us: ____________________________________________________________________ “I go to ShopRite and buy all of this junk food… THEN I bring it to the UPS store..not post office. I tell them I need to get a box and ship this food internationally. The guy starts laughing, so I was like “WHAT?” He said you know that’s gonna be really expensive, right? So I said "I kinda figured...what ..like $100"???? So he says "your a little off"......are you ready.......$750.00!!!! I almost fell over!!! I was like What the……….????????????????? I said" for $750.00 I will buy a plane ticket and hand deliver it myself"!!!!!!!!!!! So he said to go to PO, it will be alot cheaper...I said if they tell me $500...I'm gonna go home and eat it all myself. So @ PO, box already taped up...I had to fill out a customs form and list everything in the box. I asked what happens if i 4get to list something, she said they would, make YOU pay the duty for it!!! I was like OH GREAT...Jen's gonna kill me if their like. Here's your M&M's, you owe us $50!!!!! “ _______________________________________________________________________ So there's a fair, or parade or something tomorrow and they're closing down the streets so we can’t get a taxi anywhere. We were gonna go walk to this shindig but our backs hurt so bad don’t think we'd be able to make it. We usually go to the orphanage on Sat and NOT on Sun but this weekend, again, there’s the holiday on Sat (coming of Spring) and therefore we WILL be going on Sunday. Which is Easter and they DON’T consider that a holiday here….but WE do, so we’ll be with Emma on her 1st Easter! I didn’t think we were going to be, so it’s a nice surprise and a change of plans that worked out in our favor! Found out that Monday I have to go to a notary here b/t visits.... for passport, blah blah blah, stuff... then Tues or Wed is my interview with MOE (Ministry of Education), then court on Thurs and we leave. Next week’s gonna fly!!!! Not looking forward to leaving Emma! Amazing how I can’t imagine going thru the days without her for the following 3+ weeks. So, the day started off with horse meat and horse milk and ended up with corona and peeps!!!! Can’t get better than THAT!

3-19-08 Its snowing...again! Water in shower today was one little trickle of scalding water. Then went to freezing then went off completely. I’m standing there with head full of shampoo. Then finally came back on with one little trickle. Took forever~. Didn’t even use conditioner. Snow doesn’t stop anyone they just drive right thru it (no 4 wheel drives) no plows, people walk thru it, slush and puddles everywhere. My pants were soaked up to my calves yesterday. Isaro’s parents (Spanish couple we like) and Pat & Brian (Daniel’s parents) are went to court today so we were in the room with the other Spanish people (Alia’s mom and grandma) that we don’t like. They came back from court and we said CONGRATS!!! And all cried. We took pics of each family and the 2 families together. Pat and Brian are staying until tomorrow but Isaro’s parents left and we cried, and told them we’d go in and hug her and send them pics. They appreciated that. We’re going to have both of those families look in on Emma while I’m home b/c they’re coming back to the orphanage to pick their children up about a week before I get Emma. They gave a party for the administrative women (which they said was very quite, tea, cookies, fruit and kind of “stuffy”) Then at the second visit had the one with the caregivers. This was was said to be more relaxed. It’s really dumb....so political. They make you bring gifts for all these people (director, coordinator, Dr., interpreter, 10-12 caregivers –when we’ve only seen 4) Then make you throw them a party, on the last day you have with your child! Now it has to be spent with the stupid director and administrative people. Then you can say bye to baby and leave. That sucks! Mom cries every time someone goes to court. When I go, she’s gonna be a basket case!! Mom and I went with Pat down to their baby room and asked one of the nanny’s to make Emma 2 pairs of booties. One with the pink/white yarn I’ll supply, and one cream pair. Emma’s eye was all better today! The Dr. came in to see her and we said “wow its all gone” she said he had put medicine drops in it last night. Guess it worked! The second visit we were stuck in the room with those other Spanish people we don’t like. The mom has her nose so far in the air…. Arrogant. Their interpreter doesn’t leave their side and she rudely instructed him to get up and take pics of her and the baby. We’ve even said to her “oh your baby is so tiny”…she nodded then mumbled, in Spanish, something about blah blah blah, Americanos. Snob. Then the interpreter puts on some whiny Indian sounding yet Spanish music that we won’t be able to deal with the next week we’re there with them. We’ll see what happens.

3-18-08 Well, found out my court date will be on the 27TH! One day earlier. So I'll go at 9am, then to the orphanage for Director's party and kids party, say bye to Emma (oh God dreading THAT) then back to apt and ready to leave for airport at 2:45 pm. Flight at 4pm. Get to Almaty at 6 pm and go to a hotel this time. Then flight out at 3 am on the 28th. Today Emma had all this green gook in her eye and her one eye was really blood shot on the edge. I asked Dr. and she first said "oh someone must have hit her with a toy". I was like "uh,no, its green pus". The only time's she's cried is today, or ever for THAT matter, was when the Dr. walked in! haha Then the afternoon she told Olga to get a certain med from the store and bring it tomorrow. I'm just hoping its not pink eye! At one point, today, she was sitting, playing, and looked up at me…. Reached up both her hands… I put out my fingers for her to pull herself up to a standing position and we started walking. Then it happened…. Ma ma ma ma. AAAHHHHHHHHH I couldn’t believe it! No, I don’t think it was intentional but she only ever said da da da . By the time we grabbed the video camera it was back to da da da. Well it was great for the brief moment! We didn’t go back to the apartment b/t visits. Went shopping and got her lots of stuff. Olga gave us the list of things i need to leave with her... a snow suit 2 pairs tights, 2 light outfits, 1 warm outfit, 2 undershirts, a hat, moms knitting a scarf, bottle, toys, etc. So we had the driver drop us off at a store, Gros, some other families told us about. We then got a taxi over to the Mickey House/trade center, had lunch, and walked around a few of the stores~buying outfits along the way. We then found the stairs that lead underground to cross to the other side of the road. Hmmm we didn’t see THAT last week when we dodged 4 lanes of traffic like the frog in Frogger! Had our driver pick us up at the Mickey House to go back to orphanage for afternoon visit. Mom's learning Russian: thank you (Das vie dahn nah), bye (spa see ba), good morning (doe brae ootra), grandma (ba bush ka), and we just learned “i love you” (hmmm forgot, have to check again). Mom had to use public bathroom today! hahahaha..... you had to pay (10 tenge) to get in and they give you 4 squares of toilet paper. A woman is ACTUALLY sitting there handing out the toilet paper!!!! Then there's no "toilet seat" you kinda squat over it. Just the porcelain part. The plunger to flush is built into the top of the tank so when you pull it up, the top comes off too! Unbelievable and disgusting!

**UPDATED ENTRIES FOR 3-5-08 AND 3-6-08**

3-17-08 St. Patrick’s Day!! First thing I did was wake up and open the St. Patrick’s Day card Joe had put in my suitcase… he also had one for mom and one for Emma~her 1st card! ;) I also remembered, that I had with me, the diary I was keeping at home so once I knew Emma’s birthday, I could refer back to it and see what I was doing on the day she was born. As I leafed through the pages I was saying “oh please let me have written an entry on May 1st” and sure enough!! It was actually the day I finished my autobiography for my dossier, the day my sister read it, the day I asked Patrick to be her Godfather, and the day I got my final reference letter (from next door neighbor Carrie), the day I filled out all my financial forms and got my first document notarized! It was actually the longest entry I had written! Gives me goosebumps! The final sentence in it was, I worked on adoption stuff all day, did nothing else. For a day that was “insignificant” at that time, its amazing how my mom, brother, and sister will ACTUALLY remember that day. Amazing. Emma lights up when she sees us now. Yesterday she was in the walker and started coming toward me. Today she smiled and reached up for me to pick her up. Its so exciting to see her getting attached to us and recognizing us when we walk in. There is a couple there who arrived before us, they say she's changed SOOOOO much since they got there, and saw her, to now~that we've been with her, she's like a completely different child. They said she always sat there in the nursery, never smiled and hardly moved, just looks sad all the time. Now she’s all smiling and very active. I had gotten her a full blown St. Patrick’s Day outfit. Little shamrock dress, white tights with frilly lace on the butt (was covered up by the shamrock panties that came with the dress), a “my 1st St. Patrick’s day” bib and of course a green barrette in her hair. I had on my green “Kiss me I’m a Jersey girl” sweatshirt too! Everyone was saying “oh Emma!! You’re so pretty! And loved the outfit! All the caregivers get the biggest kick out of seeing her in cute and different things. They usually have her in the same jean dress, a yellow sweatshirt, or a white sweater. I’ve actually asked if I could buy another sweater and jumper to exchange for those ones she always wears so we could have them. It’s what we’ve seen her in so often there, it would be nice to have. I let Emma open her card from Joe and she got a kick out of ripping the envelope. Then she played with the card most of the morning. I took many pics of this. She holds your fingers and pulls herself up then loves to walk (with you holding her hands above her head) she's a speed demon now. She still enjoys looking in the mirror and was giving herself kisses in it! So cute! Many pics an video of this as well. There is a ball “pit” in one of the rooms, so we surrounded her with all the green balls and again, took many pics. Hahahaha that’s what we do most of the time! The caregivers there are so wonderful and she gets a smile on her face when I return her to them, which does make me happy b/c it would kill me if she was crying not to go to them. In b/t visits, while our maid was here (wow wouldn’t that be great at home!??!) Mom and I played about 17 games of Sequence, which mom is getting better at b/c I’m barely beating her now.

3-11-08 Morning visit-Emma came out and actually looked a bit more interested to see me! Her interactions were all full of expression and she was looking me in the face more. We went in and told Olga we needed to speak with Dr. again. She, the Dr and Larissa (coordinator) came in and said we needed to make a decision b/c other families were on their way in and they are legally obligated to show families ALL available children and Emma is still considered available until I “choose” her. My stomach dropped…there was NO WAY they were showing my baby to someone else. Then Emma peed on me LOL We went over all our concerns: The glucose was a standard test they do here and it was fine, urine samples were also fine (if something was wrong w/kidney it would have shown in this). Got all monthly head circumference measurements and seemed fine. So I “chose” her! J Mom cried, then I cried. As we were talking to Olga, I thought Emma was sitting very quietly on my lap…looked down and she was sleeping! Just at the drop of a hat. Guess that’s good-shows she was comfortable enough with me to just fall asleep like that. They said we had to wake her up thought b/c it wasn’t time for her to sleep and it would throw off her schedule. That wasn’t fun to have to wake her, I was enjoying having her sleep on me. Larissa went over some of the answers I’m supposed to give when in my interview with the Dept of Education and judge. Interesting…. I’m NOT supposed to let on that I WANT to have biological children later. They figure if I’m planning that, then just go home and do that, no need to adopt. Also that then maybe you wouldn’t love this baby as much or pay as much attention to her if you have biological one. They also, apparently, assume that after 30 if you’re not married you’ll just go get pregnant. Not only NOT a big deal but almost expected. So I’m to tell them I CAN’T have biological children. Then she said “Once you’re home, you can do what you want” Interesting mentality. Had Olga write different questions on pieces of paper so we can just show them to people to get around. We actually have our address now to show a taxi driver how to get home, “can I use your phone”, Please drop us off at the baby store, etc. Had driver drop us at the “baby store” where we looked for some outfits to leave for Emma to come home with on the 2nd trip, and diapers that we have to supply now, daily. We stopped at the café to have lunch (French fries and Russian borscht-VERY good but no butter for bread. Got some chocolate cake to go-for dessert tonight) Sun shining, yet cold and a bit windy. Walked to grocery store for some small items (including air freshener for the smelly apartment bathrooms) and walked back to apartment. Wow we made it on an outing and back. No negativity or tears this time!! Yea!!! Afternoon visit- Now that I "made decision" as they call it we get out of our 5 x 6 room into the big room with all the families. we will be interacting with all of them for the rest of our stay. We feel extremely lucky to be living here on easy street with our Jacuzzi, and stand up shower which i found out today also is a sauna, our refrigerator and stove and eat whenever and whatever we like. See there is a bright side to everything in life even when it seems the bleakest. opened bathroom which always smell like sewer! i bought to lavender rooom fresheners because it make me gag every morning ( the stink only stays in the bathroom thank god) I opened door just now and said "oh good lavender smelling shit! No one drives over 45 mph here there are no lines in the street its just go where there is a space. PEDESTRIANS DO NOT have the right of way. driver almost took out a little old lady today trying to get her footing in the snow lol if you get to an interpass that only fits one car oh well someone just has to back up! oh bye the way we walked to mall the other day with just a sweater and sweatshirt it is not that cold here except today we walked home with coat on and couldn't feel fingers by the time i got home but we are not cold at all apt. is very warm and comfortable always. no biting cold to hit you in the face when you go outside so that’s pretty awesome didn't expect that. but we stand out like a sore thumb because of our sneakers IN THE SNOW went to by boots at the mall the other day but didn't carry a size 7 - what am I a Neanderthal woman. Today mom bought Emma a Xylophone they don't have musical things in the orphanage. she loved it - got the hang of it in a few swings. she's soooo cute and seems that since we have been here we can see her falling in love with us as well. we used to toss her in the air her legs and arms flailing around but no expression of glee on her face. today she was squealing and cooing. she is a survivor the healthiest one truly no just saying that she really is.

3-10-08 3am: Emailed home and had Joe leaving messages for Dr. Farber to answer questions on email. She’s not calling him back nor answering my emails. I am supposed to tell Director if I choose Emma today and can’t till I get these results. Morning visit I was asked if I made my decision and when I said I still had to get some answers from the Dr. The coordinator said I had to make a decision definitely by tomorrow. She looked so cute with the 2 barrettes I put on top of her head. She seemed very tired this morning and still not showing much expression when she sees us or when you do things, you’d expect her to laugh at. We put her on a little tricycle that was in the room and she seemed to enjoy it by kicking her feet but no facial expression. The coordinator came in the room with Olga and just stood there and talked amongst themselves. We thought we were being “watched” then she just said “ok, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Came back to apartment to find door was open and a cleaning lady was inside cleaning EVERYTHING. Washed our towels, changed and made beds, cleaned floors, shower, tube, etc. Wow we felt like the rich and famous! LOL We made a big chicken, rice, & vegetable dinner and played Rummicub and listened to the music I had downloaded on my laptop from home….ah that was nice! Afternoon visit-Emma has a runny nose, out of nowhere! Boy she hates you wiping her nose! Shakes her head from side to side. She seemed more interactive and happy during this visit. Still trying to get in touch with Dr. Farber from home to answer some questions we had left. I had Susan call her b/c I still have no way of dialing outgoing phone calls. And my internet minutes were almost up (1 hr left). Susan called her, asked what was going on and found out Dr had power outage and never got my emails from last 2 days. She was going to check her email and write me back in about an hour. I called Olga (who was buying me more internet units) and she gave me the new number I needed to update internet time. Mom and I watched a movie and I fell asleep. Midnight: I checked emails and still wasn’t satisfied with report answers. Susan called Farber again and she told Susan her report and hung up. Some of it still didn’t answer questions and some didn’t make sense to me so Susan called her back and then me on a 3 way so I could speak with her directly. Answers were still vague. Very stressful night and now I have to go to orphanage tomorrow STILL not being able to give them decision until I talk to Emma’s Dr. yet again!

3-9-08 Went to orphanage for the morning visit to find about 5 other couples there too. We asked Olga if we could continue visiting in a private room and she said “once you make the decision on choosing her, you go into the room with all the other families during visitation”. So we said I still needed to get an answer from the Dr.- it bought us one more day of privacy. We met one couple who’s daughter is 2 weeks younger than Emma and she’s so much smaller. I gave Emma the “My 1st Easter” rattle and she loved it! I think she doesn’t have many noisy things. She got a kick out of it. I figured I’d take it home with me each time I leave that way she’ll relate that toy with me. I also put the 2 new barrettes/clips in her hair and she’s so cute with her little tufts sticking up. Also tried on her new ski hat, I got yesterday, and she looks like a little round faced cupid doll. She’s like a porcelain doll…Mom says “how do you describe precious?” She’s still imitating me when I do raspberries on her belly…its so funny. I came home and slept during the “break” b/c I was up at 3am on the computer talking to Susan and couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. On the second visit I got to feed her! She ate thick “slop”(like Farina) and drank milk (mixed with something-maybe rice water) right out of the cup! No lid or nipple, just chugged it with slurping noises. Boy she was thirsty! They tell me that she doesn’t use a bottle to go to sleep, she just lays down….ah how nice that’ll be if it continues to work that way. Emma enjoys standing in front of a mirror (must take after Aunt Susan lol) seems interested in her own reflection and figuring out how to touch her own hand in the mirror. She babbled a bit more and showed more expressions when thrown up in the air. Mom was making a certain noise before doing this and when she stopped, Emma would imitated it, as if to say she wanted to do it again. We’ve learned “bye djum”(phonetically speaking) means “let’s go”. This is what Olga says to her when its time for her to go back to her room and us to leave. We came home and had spaghetti. Mom made macaroni salad with tuna….tuna in can didn’t need to be drained and came with carrots and corn mixed in with it. Figured out how to use the washing machine. Again, in Russian, has all symbols we don’t know (has a feather= light) no start button. Everything is bells, whistles, buttons and remotes but nothing comes with instructions. And yet, no dryer. Figured we must wash something 3 days before we want to wear them b/c it’ll take that long to dry jeans. There’s racks of clothes and towels everywhere in orphanage so I guess this is the norm. Seems today has been easier (since we’ve decided to shelter ourselves from the outside world). Mom does her embroidery; I type away and talk online with Susan, Patrick, Joe and Trish. We barely even turn on the cds we brought b/c we’re enjoying the quiet.

3-07-08 AND 3-08-08 3-07-08 Ok, these beds suck! We doubled our comforters and lay on top of them to TRY to make it more cushion but my back is killing me from it. Anyway............ I've found Emma! :) Went to the orphanage ....NOT on my birthday as anticipated. I Saw 4 babies and Emma really was the only one I was "attracted" to. She's 10 months old has brown hair that looks like a firecracker went off on her head! LOL Brown eyes (of Asian feature) and very white skin (porcelain like). She's very attentive and ticklish!! :) She can pull herself up to a standing position but doesnt crawl yet. She can roll over and sit herself up too. She's very smart and very intuitive. She mimics you and is very alert. We went back for our afternoon visit and spent the 2 hrs only with her. Yet the food has been ok what we have had. The food we bought in the store is "different" the milk tastes like cream, only non spreadable no salt butter, the bread isn’t like we know it (in wonder bread fashion) but instead looks like "fresh" bread from a bakery and tastes like its a month old. HAVE to dip it in tea or coffee for it to be soft enough to bite. 3-08-08 Today was “Women’s Day” a holiday, we couldn’t go to orphanage so we’ll go tomorrow, where we normally wouldn’t go on a Sun. This holiday is equivalent to Mother’s Day yet is for all women. They’re all walking around with flowers. Got report from Dr. Farber she thinks everything seems to be very good from the reports and pics/video too... just a few things I need to double check on tomorrow. Ventured out to walk to “the mall”. It got colder as we started walking and our white sneakers quickly got ruined. The people are SO rude; everything is dirty, muddy, & cold. NO ONE speaks English and they don't help you but laugh at you. We totally stick out. All the women are in black tight gaudy clothes, lace, belly shirts, stiletto heel boots, leather and/or fur coats. It’s horrendous. Most look like hookers/street walkers. Every where we went people were looking us up and down and laughing. Talk about rude!! You’d think we were walking down the street naked! It was soooooooo uncomfortable. There's NOTHING to do here. Obviously the movies are in Russian. We went to the "baby store" thinking it would be like babies r us and it was smaller than a 7-11! The stores are little tiny things with nothing worth looking at. Mostly perfumes, cell phones and purses (THEY'RE huge here). There was a “trade center” that was a glorified indoor flea market with all vendors set up and no ‘stores’. Cant buy boots, exchanging money-cant find bank, more laughing. After walking around all day, my back killing me. I had to get out of there but we had no ride home and were hungry. We can’t figure out what anything is when we try to eat something out but we found a store that said “Inter food” so we figured “ah that’s gotta be somewhere to eat”. The food was pretty good and luckily the girl on line behind us spoke English and helped us out. She also explained to the lady behind the counter that we need to use the phone when we leave. I had a beef stew and mom had chicken with peas and tomatoes in a sauce. We were asked if we wanted a salad with the salad bar. We said yes then went over to find there was again no lettuce at this “salad bar”. They ask you what you want and when I pointed at ONE item they spooned out a portion, weighed it, and handed it to me. Guess you can’t have cucumbers AND carrots. When we were done the nice lady that worked there called Olga for us. We have to call our interpreter every time we want to go anywhere b/c we don’t have a phone, cant speak the language, and don’t know the name of our apartment. So we call her, she calls the taxi/driver and it’s just so inconvenient. We were told to wait outside across the street from a certain store. We thought we saw our taxi b/c he was motioning to us. We got in and realized he wasn’t sent FOR us when he didn’t know who Olga was so we got out. We crossed the street in front of the store, we thought we were supposed to be in front of, and then waited so long, had to go in the store and call again. Olga said he’d be there in 5 min in a black Mercedes. About 7 min later a man came up to us and said “Olga sent me” and we got in his red Nissan. (THIS is what I’m talking about) We're SO miserable here I just want to come home. Unfortunately, we're stuck here and can’t believe we still have to come back. Wish we could just get her out of here now. We've now decided to only leave the apartment to go to the orphanage. It’s just such a shame that the country and our surroundings are really seriously affecting this experience. I only look forward to going to the orphanage again tomorrow. We couldn’t get back in the apartment fast enough. Mom had an urge to put on her John Denver cd and the first song was “It’s good to be back home again” and she had a minor emotional breakdown. We seem to take turns doing this. I just look at the pics I have taken of Emma and think, ok it'll be worth it but the thought of having to be here this much longer AND come back is so emotionally unappealing it makes me cry to even think about it.

3-5-o8 AND 3-6-08 March 5, 2008 Flight from Frankfurt to Almaty was a 7 hour flight (one hour less than last flight) except when we got on the plane it was smaller and we did not notice any TV’s. When asked of the stewardess if there was to be a movie she replied “NO BUT WE HAVE MAGAZINES”. They do, unlike America, offer free newspapers and magazines to all as you get on the plane. Again, came the constant “want water, want beverage, want juice?” Followed by some mixed snack l oz. in a bag. We did get a hot deli sandwich which was very tasty and 2 chocolates in a box – very posh. One nice thing that I noticed that, unlike any other flights I have taken, is they let you sleep if you want to. Jennifer was sleeping when meals came on both flights and when she awoke we asked to have her meal and they brought it all warmed up no questions asked. We were given a piece of paper each to fill out on the plane. I almost threw it away. It had a stamp across the front looked like some kind of magazine subscription request. I then realized it was the customs form. None of the airline stewards could offer any help in filling this out. It was very confusing due to the fact that they were asking WHO INVITED US AND OUR REASON FOR BEING THERE. Jennifer was getting paranoid on the way this was filled out because she was there on Adoption business and I had to write specifically tourism or personal pleasure~ we were not sure. A girl from Almaty helped us translate this information. Some of it SHE didn’t even know and asked her friend from Karaganda to translate. Then they asked for a # which we found out meant out passport #, then realized the DEPARTMENT of EDUCATION was the organization inviting Jen in to the country. But not me. Then figured out I was invited by the USA Dept of Tourism. OK got that all straightened out. Phew. I told the stewardess that we were told to bring water and something to eat because nothing in Almaty airport would be opened that early. She was so nice and gave us a big bottle of water and a bag full of club sandwiches left over from the flight to take with us. She said they were only gonna throw them away anyway. March 6, 2008 Arrival in Almaty (actually seems like last flight took an entire day but was only 6 hours, due to the time difference we arrived at 12:45 am – Jennifer’s Birthday) After getting our luggage, which surprisingly enough, made it there ok. Not too many people in this tiny tiny airport to help out. We got herded through the customs counter to a woman who did not speak any English again, grunted something at us (which we could only assume meant passport and that customs paper), stamped it and we were on our way (still not asking to declare any money brought in with us). Then some official looking person that kept asking us “if 3,000 ok can go through”. This did not happen-thank God! Anyone could have followed us out of the airport. Instead this official kept saying “go through with 3,000 or 7,000!” Wish he’d make up his mind! AND tell us what was the difference b/t the amounts. On the other side of the door was the outside of the airport which scared the hell out of me. I told Jennifer we are not leaving this airport until we are sure of this money thing before we get arrested for customs evasion or something. Again no one in sight to meet us as we were told to help translate this 3,000 7,000 mess. We weren’t even sure if he meant Dollars or Tenge (their money). We went through the door and were met by 15-20 men all looking like derelicts forming like a runway for us to pass through shouting something at us, we assumed must mean Taxi. We kept notioning to them we were waiting for someone, but our someone was not there. Fear built in us as we realized that all we knew is that LOLA was meeting us, did not know what she looked like or a phone # to call her. 15 minutes later… NO LOLA… men are leaving us alone except for one that kept hand gesturing that our ride wasn’t coming and we should go with him. That might have been ok if WE KNEW WHERE WE WERE GOING. (We later found out this was the norm of how the rest of the trip would be. Getting info and it being inaccurate or just completely the opposite of what we were told). Just take it on blind faith that they will be there. After 20 min. (we were lucky. Some of other parents waited l ½ hours) A woman came up and said “I’m Lola, sorry late” we grabbed our luggage and started for the curb, I looked around and said the Jenn where’s the other bag, Lola said nastily, “He’s got it already.” Surprise to us we were told cab driver would not handle luggage. The ride to the apartment was quiet. No,”how was your trip” or welcoming comments. Felt like a ride through Harlem. When I asked her if she could take us around Almaty later that day she replied “ I can’t be with you I’m busy”. Again they told Jen we would not be left without an interpreter. Drove to this dingy section of town and made us get out in slush and mud to walk down an alley with our suitcases. The driver did help us and dragged our suitcases through the mud. We walked up to a metal door which she briefly told us a code we must use holding down all 3 buttons at once. Once inside that wonderful aroma of cat piss hit our nostrils and dirty bowl of cat food inside we were waiting for the rats (one thing we realize about this country is there are no screens on windows. no roaches~ as bad as it was, because they’d freeze their little wings off). Once inside she ordered “Take shoes off” boy would we get to know THAT phrase! Almost in a sneaky manner looked behind her and bolted the door and told Jen to give her $25 and $25 for the driver. Then told Jen we would go to orphanage later that day which was what Jennifer had expected to Pick her baby on her birthday. Nicht! Wrong again! We had to sleep and by the time the flight from Almaty got to Karaganda and got to apartment it would be to late to go to orphanage. Jennifer was really upset. Never showed us around the apartment just walked Jen out by the taxi, pointed down the road, and told her to exchange her money there in the morning. Then pointed down the right and said “walk one block this way and one block that way and you will come to a souvenir shop just ask anyone they will know it” (name escapes us now). And she left. We went in bathroom no toilet paper Jen found some napkins in kitchen to get us through until morning. (which was really only 6-7 hours layover) There were bars on the windows and we were on the first floor. Boy were we tired Jen started to cry. We both felt like someone was gonna knock on the door and say “Vinny sent me” it was like a scene out of the Godfather or a Black Market Baby Ring. No friendliness at all~ all very sneaky and secretive. All she said was the driver will pick us up later – uh this is the same guy you just locked the door in front of! She was going to be with him so I guess that was OK. We were so tired and went to lay on the bed (which is being very kind) It was a slat bed with a mattress on it (no thicker than 3 inches) no box spring, just a spring running through the mattress, and very close to the floor. It was as hard as a rock and we thought we’d never make it if the beds are like this the entire trip! OUCH! I told Jen to leave the light on we really didn’t know how to escape this place if need be and to get two big knives out of the kitchen. She did and we slept with them under our bed. Oh by the way, Lola was gonna leave without giving us her phone #. We asked, she said she’d “I’ll just be there”. After insisting, we got her #. We didn’t even know where we were if we had to call her or the police for that matter. When we woke up later that day, before the flight, we tried to make tea, I had brought with me, except no matches in apt. to light stove. Also a Microwave with no microwavable cups. We decided to have water WE brought with US and some AIRBORNE vitamin tablets, which substituted for our Orange Drink like tang. Made the most of it and had left over un-refrigerated sandwiches from the plane. Actually our apartment in Almaty was quite nice and airy, big rooms but no shower curtain. The bathtub was built on a platform and you really had to climb into it. We found the shower curtain and rod but it wasn’t able to be fitted to that shower. We took showers without the curtain and got the floor all wet – ahhh tooo bad that’s their problem. Luckily we brought own shampoo and soap. We then dried ourselves, in what I refer to as a Cheese Grater for a towel…NO DRYERS here even in hotels and orphanages just use drying racks. Ventured out to get money exchanged. Walked up to a little room off the street which we know is where we were to do this but when we entered, a man with a machine gun at his side followed us in and stood behind us. Jen was at the counter trying to talk to someone, again that knows no English. I turned around to see this guy and thought WHAT THE HELL and said “are you the police?” He must have understood b/c he nodded and I said “OH GOOD”! Jen did her thing thank God she brought her calculator. She has been great the whole trip knowing exactly what they need. They were all laughing at us (little did we know we would have to get used to THIS also). I asked the policeman, “How do you say goodbye” he said “goodbye” lol. (Which NO ONE says that here, so again he was being a wise guy). We then went (not around the corner as instructed by Lola) but many city blocks and endured the stares as we walked in mud and muck and slush and got sprayed by cars. Clothes here were 10,000 Tenga which was $100. for a teeshirt you can but in Target for $20. Walked all over trying to ask people about the souvenir shop that “everyone” was supposed to know about~ and know one did. THAT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD VACATION HERE TO WANT A SOUVENIR. And THAT will also be the reason we’re not bringing any home for anyone! Haha Jennifer’s bringing back the biggest souvenir and will just have to share Emma with everyone! Back to the apartment and 20 minutes before we were supposed to leave for airport Lola called and said she wouldn’t be coming with the driver and to pay him and leave the money for the apartment on the table. This was the guy she didn’t want to let in the house that morning. Jen tried to call her back for something and it wouldn’t go through just a fast beeping sound NOW WHAT DO WE DO? FELT STRANDED! Jennifer had a melt down and stated she really didn’t know if she could go through with this for 3 weeks if this is what is was going to be like. I gave her Birthday card and she cried more. I told her any time she wants to call this off I would support her no matter what but maybe we should just tuff it out until we get to Karaganda. The driver came in and didn’t say anything to us just took off his shoes and walked in kitchen we didn’t know where the heck he was going - looked at the money on the table for the apartment and got Lola on the phone without saying anything to Jennifer. This was all a surprise to Jen she didn’t even know he looked at the money and handed the phone to her with Lola on the other end. Lola replied “you didn’t leave the right money, I told you 11,000 Tenga and you left 10,100. We were not used to the money and she never explained the money to Jennifer. We just had picked the money up and couldn’t get her on the phone to explain it to us in English. Then Jen had to make change with the driver what a mess. He was obviously not happy. Again all seemed to underhanded it cost us $91.00 for a 6-7 layover when we found out we could have stayed at a hotel at the airport for $58.00. They love to keep control here to their benefit. Jen cried the whole way to the airport nothing I could do to console her because it was to be such a beautiful experience and nothing was the way it was explained to her. Every time she read someone’s blog, or their adoption site, they all seem to have such wonderful experiences and good times and nothing bad to report. Jen is probably the only one with enough guts to actually have reported the true experience instead of sugar coating it. Jennifer has had such a hard time even thinking of re-living these few days so she’s completely skipped them in this journal. I said we have to go back and fill in those days and Jen said “I just can’t do it”. So, I am writing this a few weeks later and have learned by all the responses to her postings of this event – that in fact other parents are coming forward and saying “hang in there we know what your going through and it will get better”. Don’t you think it would have been nice to know what to expect before we got here? We got to the airport and waited about 45 minutes and off to Karaganda we flew. The flight to Karaganda was only one ½ hours. I was so surprised to see little overhead TV’s on such a short flight.”Will there be a movie, I asked” the steward replied “oh yes” GREAT – how stupid of me – he passed out headphones which plugged into Russian music. When the movie came on, it was not a movie, but in fact a documentary on how they welded and layed the train tracks in Kaz and Almaty. Ok better than nothing – NOT – it was all in Russian! We both tried to sleep instead. Good snacks and flight went well. Landed in Karaganda, went to meeting area and OLGA our interpreter was waiting for us and noticed us and Jen knew that was her from pictures. Jen sail “Olga” she said “yes” and shook Jen’s hand with a big smile on her face. WOW things were already looking up, what a difference. She said she had to wait on other side of little doorway while we picked up luggage. We got a cart (they’ve always been free in Germany and Kaz) loaded our luggage on it pushed it literally 10 ft. and Olga replied “You can’t take the cart passed here” (why couldn’t she tell us that while we were loading it) lol She took us to the driver who also helped with luggage, we were told not to expect this, and drove to our condo. Very appealing when we drove up, definitely like this already. The complex is a gated one. Then it hit when Jen said, 'we're on the 5th floor right?" (againg thats what she was told ) and she told us we were on the 7 th floor. Ok no problem, “where’s the elevator” “there is none” Jen and I just looked at each other. The driver, Olga and the two of us managed to get to luggage up 79 STAIRS. A quick look around our beautiful condo. And down 79 stairs to go to grocery store. What a hoot. Nothing we can read, nothing packaged in anything that would resemble a picture that would give us a hint to what was inside. A cow could mean butter or cheese. We grabbed a few staple foods, laundry detergent, dish soap etc. No lettuce to be had in all of Kaz. (They don’t do lettuce). It was getting late so Olga ran around getting the stuff we asked for and put it in the cart, very nice of her but we didn’t know where to get it next time when we were alone. Mayonnaise comes in a little squeeze container that resemble the sips drinks the kids brink to school, and not much bigger than that either. It has a potato on the front, some have olives on the box, yeah we were supposed to know that was Mayo. No bread with preservatives, it’s sliced but hard as a brick – maybe the inner 2 inches of each slice is soft. Off to the register with this cart that glides front, back and side to side, weird feeling, so you don’t actually TURN you cart you just guide it. The checker does no speak English and shows us the amount on the screen. 16,000 Tange!!!!!!!!!!!Oh My God – Jen whips out her calculator – Jen says that’s only about $130.00, I could now breathe again. Went back to condo, up 79 steps carrying groceries and 5 gal jug of water. Asked Olga where a nice restaurant was to take Jennifer for her birthday. She gave us directions to a place within walking distance of the apartment. Got changed and went down 79 steps again ( we don’t need a gym here ). Up one long block, a left and a right and we were there. Walked down into a basement type establishment, to find it was indeed a Café with two people in it a cafeteria type tables. OK Happy Birthday Jen. So far this Birthday did not compare with her 30th skydiving. Jennifer had 2 dried frigadel type hamburgers and kind of coleslaw and I had beef wrapped in a noodle kinda like a big wanton, which was very good and of course, a coke. The whole thing came to about$12.50 includes tipping. Can’t say I don’t take you to the best places! We liked the place and the menu and decided we would come back again someday for a lunch. We asked the owner what time they opened up and she “said ONE” and held up 10 fingers! Ok still don’t know what time to come back, I guess we’ll just wing it. Walked home. The apartment is actually awesome.5 bedrooms, 2 baths, "spiral" wooden staircase, glass surround shower with a remote control, has all the bells and whistles, CD music, mirrors, jets that you can program to hit you anywhere, a heater lamp and even seats if you want to program I for sauna, but serioursly when I get in I just want to say “beam me up Scotty”, a huge jacuzzi tub, chandeliers in every room, and heated floor in one tiled area of living room. A huge living room upstairs with beautiful curtains, fancy furniture and nice surround sound stereo. But the beds are just like Almaty. The water has a yellow tint to it but the bathroom SMELLS so bad like a sewer....it makes , you gag to go into the bathroom. The water from the kitchen sink doesn’t smell or seem discolored but we’re not taking a chance on drinking it. We found that there are no English channels except one and that one they interpret over in Russian so you can’t understand it anyway. We sat in our upstairs living room and Jennifer hooked up the DVD and we tried to watch “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” but we fell asleep, - just as well we have to make these movies last like our food from home. Figured out how to play music on it. I got up in the middle of the night couldn’t sleep. Tried to get the movie back on, touched something, and the DVD won’t work – that was the end of that for the entire trip – watched TV downstairs on a little TV with a #2 in the corner we still have not figured out how to get rid of. So what!

3-4-08 Left for Newark Airport at 3pm flight on Lufhtansa at 6:15. The day has been very emotional! I haven’t stopped crying for 2 days and the nerves, stress, anxiety and the unknown has really taken a toll. Susan was crying on the phone saying bye and it was emotional leaving Patrick, when he dropped mom off at my house. Joe drove us to the airport and we grabbed a bite to eat (and a beer) before leaving. Checking in our luggage was no big deal and nothing was mentioned about our suitcase weight being over. Joe walked us to the security gate and it was very hard to say goodbye. Felt like I’d never see him again. He continued waving to us the whole time we walked down the long hall to…..who knew. First flight was nice from Newark to Frankfurt and was only 6 ½ hrs and the service was great. The movie they had for us was National Treasure (the one we just saw and mom slept thru in the theater) we both slept thru it here too. Had dinner consisting of chicken, rice, veggies mixed together. Cheese, grapes, Cesar salad, and cheesecake with raspberry sauce on it…know how mom loved THAT! Lol Met a nice Jewish lady going home to Israel with her 13 mo. Old baby Alex. Very good and happy, no crying the whole trip. They had the bassinet for him that hooks right onto the bulkhead (wall), set it up with a little blanket and pillow and hood cover, very cute. So now we know what to expect for the trip home with Emma. We lucked out with the emergency row so we got to stretch out our legs! They offered us warm towelettes for our hands followed by a never ending offering of drinks. “Would you like some soda” 2 min later “Would you like some water” 2 min later“Would you like some red or white wine” 2 min later “Would you like Coffee or tea”. Then “would you like some duty free items (chocolate, liquor, cigs) all after we just ate. NO LADY we're trying to sleep! LOL Then our “breakfast” consisted of ½ a strawberry, 4 pineapple cubes and a partridge in a pear tree…lol… a cold roll with butter and jelly and a plastic wrapped slice of cheese. Yum. Jewish lady plopped Alex in my lap so she could go get her bags from other compartment. Honestly, not as bad as we thought. In Frankfurt, the airport Workers are on strike…. Started 2 hrs prior to our landing! Told us we’d have to sit in plane a while but surprisingly we didn’t have to. But we were told not to pass back thru security point b/c we wouldn’t be able to get back in. Tried emailing home on the kiosk in airport, but buttons weren't normal letters. Had to hold Control Q for the @ sign and the y and z were reversed on the keyboard. Found out that a pack of AA batteries in airport were about $20! Slept in airport for lay over. We were stuck in this little area till we left. We’re here for about 5 hrs. Many international flights cancelled but we’re ok for now. Got worried we’d be stuck in Germany with no way of contacting Lola who’s meeting us in Almaty with our tix to Karaganda. So much for seeing Germany. (should have realized THEN that this was a bad omen)

February- I havent updated this in a long time so I'm just gonna summarize the month. My agency went out of business and I was supposed to be traveling the end of the month. After my complete mental breakdown, my file was given to another agency and therefore, my dates were pushed back. Chris at Families for Children has picked up my case and helped me thru the end of the process before travel. I was to travel then Feb 24th. Then it changed to March 4th. Then moved up to the 2nd. Then the Embassy hadn't recieved the letter of invitation so the dates were up in the air. Finally said its definitely the 2nd. So I called to make the travel arrangements and the flights were more expensive on the 2nd and then the 3rd didnt have the right date for return flight so I booked it for the 4th! Packing begins.

1-10-08 Tara updated me as to expect to travel the end of Feb! It's -5 degrees over there today!!! brrrr

1-4-08 This morning my beautiful and loving grandmother was laid to rest after losing her battle with cancer. These past few weeks have been emotionally difficult for my family and I appreciate all the love we've received through prayers and words of support. Many of you got a chance to meet her at my shower and I thank God she was able to be there for it. Emma will always know how hard she was trying to hang on to be able to meet her. She will have the baby doll and the many blankets she made her. My grandmother meant the world to me and that she'll never be around to be a part of my daughter's life, breaks my heart, but at least I'm comforted by the fact that she's with my grandfather now...probably doing the jitterbug. We'll miss you grandma and forever feel your love.

12-13-07 I brought mom to look at the cribs I had narrowed down when Joe and I went looking. I decided on the one in Babies R Us...it seemed to match the furniture the best. Mom bought it for me and we have it on hold until Joe and I can go back to pick it up. I was now in baby mode and proceeded to dismantle my existing desk in what will soon be my "old" office and "new" nursery and moved everything into my newly arranged bedroom. Getting ready to paint soon.

11-30-07 My dossier was released from DC and Received in Kaz! Larissa, (our coordinator in Kaz) should be bringing it to the officials this week. I'm told it usually takes 2 months before I travel!

11-11-07 SURPRISE!!!! My surprise baby shower!

As you can see I had NO idea!! I was told I was covering a wedding for my friend Mike and had to pick up my sister, at her house, to go with me. I was so touched and amazed by all the little details my mom and sister did with the decorations, favors and games. Many of my friends traveled from Maryland and it was so great to see them again. I went home on a complete high from the emotionally exciting day with a packed car and unforgettable memories! Thank you so much to Mom, Susan, Grandma, Keirstin, Alexa and all my friends for making my shower so very special!

11-2-07 Well, if the strangest things happen to someone, its me! I received a letter stating that Don, my caseworker and founder of the agency, no longer works at the agency!!! I've left messages and an email for the agency trying to find out whats going on and days later got Tara on the phone, apparantly, my new caseworker. She only said that he's no longer there. I'm SO UPSET!! Don has been with me since day 1 and was one of the reasons I went with this agency. He's spent so much personal time listening to me and has been my support there all this time. He was my confidant and now will not be there for the finish line. I'm very worried and hope this doesn't mess up my progress!