3-11-08 Morning visit-Emma came out and actually looked a bit more interested to see me! Her interactions were all full of expression and she was looking me in the face more. We went in and told Olga we needed to speak with Dr. again. She, the Dr and Larissa (coordinator) came in and said we needed to make a decision b/c other families were on their way in and they are legally obligated to show families ALL available children and Emma is still considered available until I “choose” her. My stomach dropped…there was NO WAY they were showing my baby to someone else. Then Emma peed on me LOL We went over all our concerns: The glucose was a standard test they do here and it was fine, urine samples were also fine (if something was wrong w/kidney it would have shown in this). Got all monthly head circumference measurements and seemed fine. So I “chose” her! J Mom cried, then I cried. As we were talking to Olga, I thought Emma was sitting very quietly on my lap…looked down and she was sleeping! Just at the drop of a hat. Guess that’s good-shows she was comfortable enough with me to just fall asleep like that. They said we had to wake her up thought b/c it wasn’t time for her to sleep and it would throw off her schedule. That wasn’t fun to have to wake her, I was enjoying having her sleep on me. Larissa went over some of the answers I’m supposed to give when in my interview with the Dept of Education and judge. Interesting…. I’m NOT supposed to let on that I WANT to have biological children later. They figure if I’m planning that, then just go home and do that, no need to adopt. Also that then maybe you wouldn’t love this baby as much or pay as much attention to her if you have biological one. They also, apparently, assume that after 30 if you’re not married you’ll just go get pregnant. Not only NOT a big deal but almost expected. So I’m to tell them I CAN’T have biological children. Then she said “Once you’re home, you can do what you want” Interesting mentality. Had Olga write different questions on pieces of paper so we can just show them to people to get around. We actually have our address now to show a taxi driver how to get home, “can I use your phone”, Please drop us off at the baby store, etc. Had driver drop us at the “baby store” where we looked for some outfits to leave for Emma to come home with on the 2nd trip, and diapers that we have to supply now, daily. We stopped at the café to have lunch (French fries and Russian borscht-VERY good but no butter for bread. Got some chocolate cake to go-for dessert tonight) Sun shining, yet cold and a bit windy. Walked to grocery store for some small items (including air freshener for the smelly apartment bathrooms) and walked back to apartment. Wow we made it on an outing and back. No negativity or tears this time!! Yea!!! Afternoon visit- Now that I "made decision" as they call it we get out of our 5 x 6 room into the big room with all the families. we will be interacting with all of them for the rest of our stay. We feel extremely lucky to be living here on easy street with our Jacuzzi, and stand up shower which i found out today also is a sauna, our refrigerator and stove and eat whenever and whatever we like. See there is a bright side to everything in life even when it seems the bleakest. opened bathroom which always smell like sewer! i bought to lavender rooom fresheners because it make me gag every morning ( the stink only stays in the bathroom thank god) I opened door just now and said "oh good lavender smelling shit! No one drives over 45 mph here there are no lines in the street its just go where there is a space. PEDESTRIANS DO NOT have the right of way. driver almost took out a little old lady today trying to get her footing in the snow lol if you get to an interpass that only fits one car oh well someone just has to back up! oh bye the way we walked to mall the other day with just a sweater and sweatshirt it is not that cold here except today we walked home with coat on and couldn't feel fingers by the time i got home but we are not cold at all apt. is very warm and comfortable always. no biting cold to hit you in the face when you go outside so that’s pretty awesome didn't expect that. but we stand out like a sore thumb because of our sneakers IN THE SNOW went to by boots at the mall the other day but didn't carry a size 7 - what am I a Neanderthal woman. Today mom bought Emma a Xylophone they don't have musical things in the orphanage. she loved it - got the hang of it in a few swings. she's soooo cute and seems that since we have been here we can see her falling in love with us as well. we used to toss her in the air her legs and arms flailing around but no expression of glee on her face. today she was squealing and cooing. she is a survivor the healthiest one truly no just saying that she really is.